Wednesday, February 24, 2016

25 Weeks: Hello's, Goodbyes, and Countdowns

Happy Valentine's Day week everyone! This was a pretty big week for us all around. So here's what's going on:

Big bump and big hair.
Hello big hair! Mama needed a makeover, so presto, change-o, add on hair. It's amazing how much warmer my head feels, going from super short fro to lions mane (chuckle, chuckle).

It has taken me these 6 months to adjust to the timing of this new baby, to accept my growing waste line, and finally, to reach acceptance. Somewhere in all of that I just let my looks go. I feel sorry for my husband, I have been nothing much to look at lately. Most days I forget earrings or deodorant or both, and makeup? PLEASE. 

At my last prenatal appointment, as I lay on the exam table, my OBGYN asked me if their was some significance to my socks not matching . "No" I said, "these were the only two clean ones I could find." Even my poor mother took pity and scheduled a nail appointment for me after getting a glimpse of my crusty, half-pedicured toes. Like I can see my toes anyway...

Goodbye, Baby: I don't know what to say, I've been waiting to have some intense emotion about my first born turning 2. There was a small lump in my throat during our bedtime routine the night before her birthday. I realized that I was putting my 1 year old to bed for the last time, and I couldn't believe we had made it this far. Other than that I've been fine.

Nothing says Happy Birthday like raspberry white chocolate cheesecake.

It's not to say I don't care, I have been changed in so many ways these past 2 years. I am a new creature, I am a mom, a mom-a-saur, a drama mama, but parenting AND pregnancy sometimes makes you incapable of savoring these milestones the way you always dreamed you would. You know, Tears, throw in some tender embraces, some serious reflection as soft music plays and maybe a Facebook posted slide show of all her best 1 year old moments. It hasn't happened

From 1 month old to 1 year old with our beloved Munki.
Although, I do have a special sweet spot when I look back on her infant pictures these days. She was so small and sweet and I ache for that tiny (STATIONARY) baby I was able to cradle in one arm.

Maybe just maybe in the future I will look back on the pictures of her at 1 and only remember sweet little arms clinging my neck, puffy cheeks chomping happily on snacks, her infectious laughter, that tiny, tinkling voice singing "iddy biddy spi-duh" and her amazing leap from crawling to walking, to dancing. So much dancing!

Maybe, just maybe I will choose not to remember her sleep regression, the screaming and tantrums, the flinging food, and my pure exhaustion, loss of freedom and sense of self that has accompanied her 12-24 month stage. Maybe, but I doubt it.

All I keep hearing from more experienced moms, the ones who have regained their careers, their waist lines, or now manage to do their hair and wear something besides pajamas is...."it gets better". The tantrums stop, they potty train, they sleep through the will and it does get better.

Countdowns: My pregnancy app says I have 100 days left of my pregnancy which means I am 25weeks and 5 days. That's only 100 days give or take, 2,400 hours, 144,000 minutes. It's happening people, this is not a drill, we are having another baby. Sirens are going off, the little people in my head are running around screaming because nothing, nothing at all is done. Still none of that is enough to motivate me off this couch.

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