Wednesday, February 24, 2016

25 Weeks: Hello's, Goodbyes, and Countdowns

Happy Valentine's Day week everyone! This was a pretty big week for us all around. So here's what's going on:

Big bump and big hair.
Hello big hair! Mama needed a makeover, so presto, change-o, add on hair. It's amazing how much warmer my head feels, going from super short fro to lions mane (chuckle, chuckle).

It has taken me these 6 months to adjust to the timing of this new baby, to accept my growing waste line, and finally, to reach acceptance. Somewhere in all of that I just let my looks go. I feel sorry for my husband, I have been nothing much to look at lately. Most days I forget earrings or deodorant or both, and makeup? PLEASE. 

At my last prenatal appointment, as I lay on the exam table, my OBGYN asked me if their was some significance to my socks not matching . "No" I said, "these were the only two clean ones I could find." Even my poor mother took pity and scheduled a nail appointment for me after getting a glimpse of my crusty, half-pedicured toes. Like I can see my toes anyway...

Goodbye, Baby: I don't know what to say, I've been waiting to have some intense emotion about my first born turning 2. There was a small lump in my throat during our bedtime routine the night before her birthday. I realized that I was putting my 1 year old to bed for the last time, and I couldn't believe we had made it this far. Other than that I've been fine.

Nothing says Happy Birthday like raspberry white chocolate cheesecake.

It's not to say I don't care, I have been changed in so many ways these past 2 years. I am a new creature, I am a mom, a mom-a-saur, a drama mama, but parenting AND pregnancy sometimes makes you incapable of savoring these milestones the way you always dreamed you would. You know, Tears, throw in some tender embraces, some serious reflection as soft music plays and maybe a Facebook posted slide show of all her best 1 year old moments. It hasn't happened

From 1 month old to 1 year old with our beloved Munki.
Although, I do have a special sweet spot when I look back on her infant pictures these days. She was so small and sweet and I ache for that tiny (STATIONARY) baby I was able to cradle in one arm.

Maybe just maybe in the future I will look back on the pictures of her at 1 and only remember sweet little arms clinging my neck, puffy cheeks chomping happily on snacks, her infectious laughter, that tiny, tinkling voice singing "iddy biddy spi-duh" and her amazing leap from crawling to walking, to dancing. So much dancing!

Maybe, just maybe I will choose not to remember her sleep regression, the screaming and tantrums, the flinging food, and my pure exhaustion, loss of freedom and sense of self that has accompanied her 12-24 month stage. Maybe, but I doubt it.

All I keep hearing from more experienced moms, the ones who have regained their careers, their waist lines, or now manage to do their hair and wear something besides pajamas is...."it gets better". The tantrums stop, they potty train, they sleep through the will and it does get better.

Countdowns: My pregnancy app says I have 100 days left of my pregnancy which means I am 25weeks and 5 days. That's only 100 days give or take, 2,400 hours, 144,000 minutes. It's happening people, this is not a drill, we are having another baby. Sirens are going off, the little people in my head are running around screaming because nothing, nothing at all is done. Still none of that is enough to motivate me off this couch.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

23-24 Weeks: Namas'tay on the Couch....

Trying hard not to fall behind on my posting but life seems to be whizzing along at a dizzying pace. February is half over and I'm drowning in a decluttering project to make room for the new baby. I did manage to snap these two pics though. 

What's going on? My husband and I were alternates for a mock trial/lawyer training gig last week. That just means companies or universities hire actors to act as defendants, witnesses, plaintiffs, or officers in a pretend case, for skill practice or demonstration. The weather was horrible so one of the men didn't show and my husband was put in his place. I wasn't needed and spent 3 hours trying to find the coffee shop in this enormous 20 story law firm. All in all a pretty easy gig, the hardest part was finding something business like to fit over my bump, and walking from the parking deck with tender feet and heels. 

So Drama Mama, where's the drama? So the lawyer gig....yeah....THAT is the extent of my acting career right now. Snooze city! It burns me up that acting is one of a hand full of careers, next to skydiving instructor and crash test dummy that is instantly put on hold due to pregnancy. Sure, there are a few exceptions, I love the old episodes of Frasier, where Daphne is said to "over-eat" and has to be sent away to fat-camp as a way to cover up her real life pregnancy. There are a few of my friends that have managed to camouflage their bumps on camera or hide under period costumes...but it is rare. Usually the standard is, you get pregnant and you find an interim job, waiting patiently until  they've delivered and feel presentably enough to put themselves back on the market for gigs. "Smart" people accept that their career is indefinitely put on hold/over, they are in another phase of life, and they move on. Bow out gracefully.

25 weeks and attending my 2nd prenatal yoga class. 

How are you feeling? After a glorious breakfast last weekend at Kafeino, a little Greek restaurant in College Park (I highly recommend) I felt that burst of energy and neurotic decluttering tendencies that can only be described as nesting. I attacked the office/craft room which was bursting at the seams with boxes of yard sale items, infant clothes and gear waiting to be put away for Little Beans arrival, and sadly craft projects that I will probably not get to for years to come. Bending, lifting, shoving, seeing my collection of 50+ crafting books lined up on freshly cleaned white Ikea shelves gave me a buzz. That buzz, turned into a whirr, the whirr turned into shortness of breath, headache and dizziness and before I knew it I was panting and hovering over the couch. I thought for the first time in my life I was going to faint. My feet up, Tylenol and water in hand I was couch bound for the rest of the day. Not an easy feat with 1 year old. 

Dr's Appointment: "It was a drop in blood sugar", my Dr. said after I described the episode at my next appointment. I needed to eat more protein, drink more water, and have more small frequent meals. It just came on so suddenly...I was feeling so didn't happen with my first? Questions, comments, all unsaid. Pregnancy is like that, you're up one minute and down the next. 

I have to admit that I have slacked off in the healthy eating department though, hell I've slacked off in the eating department period. Any mother of a small child knows that sitting down for a well-balanced meal is a luxury. Knowing this does not stop my Mommy guilt from kicking into high gear when I think about all the french fries I've consumed and the prenatal vitamins I have not lately. Then I look over at my daughter sitting happily in her highchair eating hummus and chips, baked sweet potatoes and sliced apples and think maybe I'm not such a horrible human being after all, I mean...she's still alive right?